11/2/12
Today marks the 2nd week of our home coming. I can’t find my heart. I know it’s physically in my body, but it
surely isn’t beating. I left it
somewhere among the kids at Bridges, or the women at WEEP; somewhere in Kisii
it calls for me. Don’t get me
wrong. I love coming back, catching up
with my friends, jumping in my comfy cozy bed at night, calling mom and dad at
whim, using the internet at will and sneaking into a stocked kitchen for a
snack at night. I love that the WalMart
is down the street and my church is 7 minutes driving distance. I love that the air is fresh, and the streets
are clean and gas is only ‘almost’ $4 a gallon. I even love my little daily
routine.
But, my heart isn’t in it. It waits for me among the acacia trees, the
sewage-filled gutters, the dirty-happy-singing-dancing children and the people
that believe Jesus will heal, Jesus will provide food, and Jesus will bring
hope. It calls for me from the slums of
Kibera and Gnong, the fields of Kiliti and the beauty of Bungoma.
Lord, you have stolen that which beats 82 times a minutes to
keep me alive and given it to those that bring laughter, tears, joy and
freedom. Knowing you do nothing without
purpose, I take a deep breath, put one foot in front of the other, a smile on
my face and make my choice. I can wallow
in my grief or choose to accomplish something for Your Kingdom while I await
the fruition of Your promise. I choose
life and that in abundance. Thank you
that you’ve given me 2 wonderful places to call home & that no matter where
I am You also abide. Always and
forever. You and me.
Oh, Deb! This is my heart even after the years of being gone from there. I understand this so completely. It's hard sometimes to look at what God has for us in the "now" and not get wrapped up in the "not now".
ReplyDelete